I want to begin by recognizing the seriousness of what has been written about me. These are hard truths to face, not only for those who were directly affected by my behavior but also for me as I work to confront and accept them. What has been said is true.
In the past few days, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the decision that led here. I understand that I caused harm through both my actions, my inactions, and through my failure to respond with care when I should have. There is no defense for that. I am attempting to take full responsibility for what I’ve done.
I want to speak directly to the people who were hurt by me.
To the once 14-year-old girl who I took to the movies when I was 18. What I did was an abuse of your trust. My treatment of you afterwards was cold and careless, and I am sincerely sorry for the pain that may have stayed with you.
To the girlfriend I was with for 3 years, after that what I did to you was inexcusable. Assaulting you in your sleep and humiliating you online were acts of cruelty. You should never have been subjected to that. I understand now that the single conversation we had years ago addressing those cruelties wasn’t enough to show true accountability. I know you’ve worked hard to heal from those experiences, and I am committed to continuing the work needed to face what I’ve done and to repair what can be repaired.
To my co-collaborator, I see the toll that my actions have taken on you and how overwhelming the aftermath has been. I am truly sorry for the pain and disruption I brought into your life. I hope that, with time, we can continue to communicate openly in a way that centers safety and respect.
Regarding the events of October 23 and what followed, I want to be open and direct. While some details in Milkweed’s account reflect moreso the pain and hurt they experienced, the core of what’s described is true. I spoke about why engaging with someone much younger even if legally an adult was wrong, and then acted against my own words. Yet I made a contradictory, hypocritical, and irresponsible choice. The problem wasn’t just about romantic attention. I was aware that the 18-year-old had feelings for me, and even if I convinced myself I only wanted a friendship, I understood that any involvement risked taking advantage of their feelings and the power imbalance thereof. I ignored that knowledge. Despite discussing my discomfort with both the 18-year-old and friends, I still chose to see them. I let a dynamic form that became inappropriate and harmful. That was my responsibility.
It is also true that I minimized Milkweed’s boundaries and dismissed their concerns and requests that night. My words and actions conflicted. I failed to show empathy or consistency, and my behavior was disrespectful and invalidating. Looking back, I see how deeply hurtful that must have been, and I accept full responsibility for those choices and the damage they caused. I undermined trust and respect. That is on me.
No apology can undo what I did, but staying silent would only make things worse. I am committed to continuing to listen, to learn, and to confront the parts of myself that allowed this pattern of harm to exist.
To anyone who has lost trust in me, I understand. I do not ask for forgiveness. All I can ask for is the chance to grow into someone who can accept responsibility with honesty and humility.
Thank you,
I really want you to know that you’re not crazy or wrong for how you acted in response to all of this. Your feelings are not only valid, but more than that, they are real and true and more than just to you. Your feelings and opinions matter to me and I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable, even if it’s complicated right now. I hope we can keep talking openly and work through where we go from here.
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